Top 5 Game Developers

5. Peter Molyneux

While he may receive a lot of flack for failed promises, I have respect for this guy. For as much as fans might have been let down by his visions, he, well, still has fantastic visions. Isn't that what being a creative mind is all about? He may run his mouth a lot, but he hasn't cranked out a game that hasn't at least been interesting. From Black & White to Fable, his work has touched territory that never was before. His ability to brainstorm extremely interesting game concepts, squeezes him onto this list, but with only a fraction of his work on paper actually realized, he only earns the fifth spot. Tough luck Pete.

4. David Jaffe


Has David helped create some of the most quality games this generation? Perhaps. Does he breathe awesome and shit brilliance? Maybe. But what gets him on this list for me, is that he's a realistic man. He won't bullshit you, he won't sugarcoat the truth, and he won't let anything get in the way of putting out a game up to his standards. Originally interested in directing films, Jaffe, luckily for him, and luckily for us, found his calling in the video game business. Presenting, for better or for worse, the most honest and down to earth personality the industry has seen. He easily earns a spot on this list for doing what he does best, and that's whatever the hell he wants.

3. Shigeru Miyamoto


This man gets a lot of credit already, but he deserves it. Being responsible for more flagship Nintendo titles than you can shake a stick at, Miyamoto has contributed more to the uprising of video gaming than anyone else on this list. So much so that he's been called the "Father of Modern Gaming". Legions of soccer moms aside, Shig's rightfully earned the fandom, and the title. Mario, Zelda, Donkey Kong... You love them. You did as a kid and that child has been inside of you still for all of these years, reminding you of what a fun game is all about. As games become bigger and badder, his stay technologically humble and pulse strong with the same nostalgic formula we find ourselves falling back on time and time again. These are the roots, and the reasons why this man is a raging success.

2. Hideo Kojima


What you see before you is a brilliant mind in thought. A mind worth more than anything else to his name. Creator of the Metal Gear Solid series, Hideo had humble beginnings with the series, but now he is regarded as one of the most intelligent and masterful of his profession. With a presentation and style of telling a story like no one other, he persists that his games feel less like fiction, and more like an actual experience. This man bent over the stealth and action genre and had at it like nobody has ever seen before. Flip through the dictionary of gaming and you'll find his name to be synonymous with depth, quality, and genius.

1. Hironobu Sakaguchi


As yet another developer that had humble beginnings, Hironobu took a shot in the dark with the last remaining money his small studio, Square, had. Bullseye. Twenty-eight entries in the series since he created, to him, what would be his final fantasy, Sakaguchi is regarded as the single most inspirational and influential pioneer in RPGs. Bar none. With over 80 million units sold worldwide, Final Fantasy has become the definitive RPG experience, with no other game quite as dominating in it's genre. While it's known that the series has had it's ups and downs, what this man originally sparked was amazing. He is a shining example and inspiring justification to take risks in the industry, and this is why I gladly place him has number one on this list.

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Well, there you go. That's my list. I believe that none of these developers are truly that much greater than the other, so I had a hard time choosing one over the other... But each one has their individual merits and contributions to the industry as a whole, and you can appreciate them how you like. ...Maybe not Peter, the other four kind of stomp him but I seriously needed a filler. And it's late. He's only terrible in contrast to these awesome guys. C'mon.

5 Movies it's Criminal to Miss

These top 5 articles are so fun :D Now, as you might or might not have guessed from the title, these movies are all rooted in Crime. Gangsters, mafias, things of that sort; none of these movies are lighthearted, they all could be considered " Dramas ". I also promise you won't see Scarface or the Godfather on this list, not that they're bad movies, they just get enough love already, you know? Enough of this, on to the list!

#5. Eastern Promises


Don't be fooled by the cheesy catchphrase on the poster; Eastern Promises is a spot-on portrayal of organized crime in London. The plot goes something like this, though I can't say too much without giving a lot of it away. The lead role(Viggo Mortensen), Nikolai, is a driver for the Russian Mafia in London. After a midwife(Naomi Watts) finds a diary on the body of a prostitute whom she helped deliver her baby before death, she takes it to her uncle to be translated as she doesn't speak russian; this leads her to some men tied to the Russian Mafia, and she begins trying to uncover what happened to the woman whom she found the diary on. It feels like a thriller but it's sure to satisfy those of you that enjoy movies about the mafia in general; plenty of action, but still good dialog and Viggo does a great job in his role. Check this one out sometime.



#4. Blood In Blood Out


As far as I know, this movie isn't terribly well known, but that's because I only personally found out about it when I was 17; it came out much earlier. This is a crime drama set in Los Angeles; the film starts with 3 men, 2 half-brothers named Paco and Cruz, and their cousin Miklo. They're part of an Eastern LA gang known as " Vatos Locos ", a primarily hispanic gang, though Miklo is half caucasian. The beginning of the story is just your basic gangster stuff; they tear shit up, get into cocaine, general hood-gangster-movie stuff. However, Miklo is caught and sent to jail; Cruz becomes an artist, but can never shake the white stuff, and Paco becomes a policeman, which leads to Miklo denouncing him as family. This one is more than just a hood movie where guys shoot each other and drink 40's; if you thought that and looked away, go back and try again.



#3. Casino


Robert Deniro(Sam), a member of the Italian Mafia, heads out west to Vegas when territory and funds run dry back home in the east. Sam looks to make this as much of a business endeavor as possible without becoming unnecessarily violent and alerting the local law enforcement to what he's doing. Week after week the money is collected and sent back home through one man and a private jet who delivers it to a smaller member of the mob; everything is logged in books and done very professionally. Joe Pesci(Nicky), and old friend of Sam, decides he wants to head out west as well and join Sam in his pursuits, only Nicky is a cowboy; He thinks it's still the Wild West and acts accordingly, getting deep into cocaine and beating/shooting his opposition to death with no hesitation. The activities start to threaten the livelihood of the casino, which leads to a jag in the friendship between Sam and Nicky; not only that, Nicky has his eye on Sam's girl, and she's losing interest in Sam rapidly. A story full of loyalty turned to greed, friendship turned to backstabbing and deceit, and a classic mafia-movie ending, this one is sure to please fans of the genre. Watch it, now.



#2. Carlito's Way


Carlito's Way is the story of legendary puerto-rican gangster Carlito Brigante, fresh out of jail thanks to his lawyer, David Kleinfeld(who was in the inspiration for GTA:Vice City's lawyer character). He decides he's never going back to jail and that his life as a gangster is over, and to commit to a relationship with the woman he loves. While at first his plans go just fine, eventually he slides back into old situations, where old habits are proven to die hard; near the end he realizes it has to end, but there's one more thing he has to do first... His Lawyer needs a favor, and Carlito knows he can't refuse this to the man that got him out of prison. This movie is one of Pacino's finest roles in my opinion, and I reccomend it to absolutely anyone, fans of crime dramas or not.



#1. GoodFellas


Cliche? Maybe. Definitely not the first in the genre, that's for sure, but you can't deny it's one of the best. Robert DeNiro and Joe Pesci are always great together; their chemistry on-set really shines through in their roles together, and Ray Liotta..this is the movie that solidified his status as a GREAT actor, for myself. The movie starts with Henry(Liotta), Jimmy(DeNiro), and Tommy(Pesci) riding in a car down a dark highway. It's obvious they're all stressed, then all of a sudden a thumping noise comes from the trunk, where it becomes apparent they're transporting someone but didn't finish killing them yet. They pull over and finish the job, and the narration begins; we're taken back to Henry's childhood, and the movie from here on out is how he becomes entangled with the mob, growing up in a family that was only half-Italian. After a segment of his childhood, we're taken "back to the future", where he, Jimmy, and Tommy are all grown, professional mobsters. Plenty of great action and general badassery in this one, and the soundtrack doesn't consist of a single bad song(that's not opinion, either, damnit!). The events lead up to where we came in on the movie at the beginning, with the three taking the man in the car, and then everything begins spiraling downwards. To put it simply without spoliing too much, GoodFellas is in every way the perfect portrayal of the rise and fall of an organized crime syndicate. I'm sure most of you have already seen it, but if for some reason you haven't, don't wait any longer; this is the definitive mafia movie.

5 Films to see before leaving this world

5. Half Baked

A stoner flick? Beating out the potential of the Godfather on this list? I know what you're thinking, but I wanted to keep this comedy oriented, and these arn't the five TOP films... Just five great ones. I'll make more lists, don't get your panties in a bunch.

Shit hits the fan when a diabetic police-horse is killed by junk food, fed by a sympathetic user of the plant, believing it to be hungry and as I think most people would suspect, high or not, is not a diabetic. So he's labeled a cop-killer and thrown in jail, how's he going to get out? Well his friends think up a scheme involving, guess what? Pot. Didn't see that coming did you?

Thurgood, the main protagonist, steals unfathomably good research-marijuana from a laboratory at which he works as a "custodian", and they sell it to raise the money to bail their friend. Things get messy when a local drug dealer named Sampson Simpson discovers that they're costing him money with their wonder-weed, and hilarity ensues. A charming movie to anyone who even doesn't share the lifestyle of these whacky characters, and if you do, it'll become an easy personal-favorite.



4. Kill Bill (Volumes 1&2)

Yes, Kill Bill does consist of two volumes, technically two films, but I consider them one. To watch one and not the other is like if you were to eat half a taco and throw the rest away. Just ain't right. Anyhoo...

This film is notorious for it's bloody nature, and it's memorable characters. The story of a bride who was wronged, and then must enact revenge. Oh but there is more than just a broken heart involved, quite a few bones are broken as well... Corny metaphors aside, I cannot recommend this to anyone who can't stomach themselves some violence.

While one of the much more serious films in this comedy-oriented list, it has a lot of dark, subtle humor of it's own. Some things are just intentionally corny, and it just has a fantastic vibe. The acting is superb, and you can only suspect the finest action and characters from the mind of Tarantino. Probably the best acted and portrayed female protagonist in films this generation, Uma Thurman will rock your ass.



3. Clerks

Straight from the mind of Kevin Smith, this first installment within the "View Askewniverse" series of films, tells the trials endured by a simple shop clerk named Dante, and his good friend Randal. With a mere fund of 27,000 dollars to make this indie film, raised from selling comic books and maxing out nearly a dozen credit cards, Kevin created what is now one of the most beloved and hilarious movies of all time.

Shot in black & white due to money constraints, the movie features ironically colorful dialog and characters. The situations are scarily down to earth, and you can find yourself relating to quite a few things found within the film. One local convenience store, two drug dealers, and 36 dicks. A comedy staple.



2. The Big Lebowski

The tale of a California burnout, his best friend Walter, and a guy named Donny who just doesn't know when to shut the fuck up. Things become heated when a rug becomes pissed on, a business man's skank of a wife is kidnapped, and it's all up to the dude. With the aid of his vietnam veteran sidekick, will he overcome? Also, what's up with those acid flashbacks?

The characters are lovable, the context of the story is perfect, and every time you watch it, you'll pick up something refreshingly funny. Brilliant dialog mixed with hilarious situations and a more-than-appropriate soundtrack for it's themes, make this movie a rightful cult-classic. Fuck it, dude, let's go bowling.


1. Pulp Fiction

The number one spot goes to yet another Quentin Tarantino film, and it shouldn't be a surprise. The man is a genius, and this film exemplifies the fact that his films contain wonderfully dark humor that needs no laughtrack or hints what-so-ever to highlight it.

An extremely uneasy blend of humor and violence make this tale of numerous characters an interesting one to say the least. I can't begin to describe the plot in it's messy chronological order, but I can say that it involves blood, a briefcase, and one tasty burger. My inability to sum it up aside, the plot is fantastic. The characters are all extremely interesting in their own right, and so are the many ways they tie in with each other throughout the film.

This is definitely a film you need to watch twice to get the entire picture. It's almost two films in one in this sense, as you'll be confused but compelled and immersed one sit-through, and enjoying it in an informed manner the next. A perfecto balance of crime drama, irony, black comedy, storytelling, and characters you wish you were half as cool as in reality, make this film number one on this list. If you haven't seen it, you're either too young to see it or too *draws square* to get it.

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That's it folks. While these arn't the only five films you should see before you die, they're up there in my opinion. I'll do another one of these lists another time, most likely covering films with more serious tones and plots. Until then, I'm out. :D

5 Terrible Commercials

You know commercials you couldn't give less of a shit about? How about ones that you see over and over and over and over and over and over and over until you can recite them word-by-word? Play 'em over in your head? Perhaps you'll only see them once in your life if you're lucky. Maybe a hundred times. Yeah, they're repetitive. They're pointless. And for reason of this post, they're terrible. You ready? Let's do this thing.

5. Lunesta


First up is this stupid attempt to get you drugged. You'll be doing more than sleeping if you're going to be visited by this radioactive butterfly. Can't sleep? Eat yourself a hardy meal before you rest and stop leaving the T.V. on fucking nick at nite. Besides, the last thing I want is some glowing insect giving me skin cancer overnight.

4. Sleep Center of the Southwest


Second on the list is yet another one based on sleep, but this one gains it's terrible merits not from a pointless, serene glowing mascot, but from...well...you'll know when you watch it. You most likely haven't seen this, as it's a local commercial, but you might be able to relate with other poor quality local attempts at advertising where you live. This is somewhat high on the list because it's so bad, it's actually good in some ways. You'll at least laugh before you change the channel.

3. The Mac Ads


Third one down is one you have to know about. In Apple's apeshit quest to become one of the most owned brand names in every household on the planet, second to duct-tape and bread, they've released a hefty series of ads in which they reveal to us another dimension. A dimension in which black is white, pigs fly, and the Mac is the smarter buy over a PC. You know why there arn't any viruses designed to exploit the Mac OS? Because no one gives enough of a shit. Next.

2. Above the Influence


Not much to say here. Apparently music composed by a down syndrome special needs faggot, mixed with his art, is somehow related to the overall nature of cannabis. Watch how the user demonstrates generosity, and in return loses his interracial slut of a girl to a little bug eyed shithead who apparently, shows "good judgement." Fantastic message.

1. HeadOn


If I needed to say anything here regarding this one, it would not live up to it's notorious badness.



There you have it people. Five terrible commercials, listed in order from shit to shittier. There's worse out there, but don't worry, no need to search, it'll find you.

5 Great Old Commercials

Before we get to the commercials, a word on the matter.

We've all seen the decline of commercials since the 90s, but how many of us truly consciously recognize it? Sure, a lot of newer commercials are pretty interesting, with our highly advanced manipulation of imagery and video these days; One recent commercial from Gatorade includes a famous basketball player walking down the street, and the street "flips over" and turns into a basketball court as he does so. The point I'm trying to make is that while a lot of commercials haven't necessarily declined in base quality, they've definitely changed and not really for the better(Head-on! Apply bullet directly to your forehead) . I haven't seen a new children's toy commercial in a while for obvious reasons, but for the purpose of this article let's just take a glance at those, as most of the time the older ones tend to be quite awesome, and truly got you pumped when they came on TV, instead of becoming annoying segments in-between your favorite shows.



#5: Perfection! (POP!)


You know it like I know it; when this mother-effer came on TV, you didn't care WHAT the freakin' game was about. You wanted to see this guy's chest bursting with large plastic pieces, and by god, that's what they gave you. It has all the vital elements of an oldschool toy commercial which made it a perfect candidate for number 5. Excited children, a catchy little jingle, over-the-top action shit that makes you want the toy no matter WHAT it does, and two normal lookin kids having a ball with it...sheesh, man, they really knew how to sell a product back then.




#4: Hungry Hungry Hippos


Once again, this thing has all the basic attributes of an awesome old commercial. Kids enjoying that shit like hell, a cool jingle, and best of all, some colorful hippos that don't give a SHIT if you just paid 5k to put that fence back up; these bastards are hungry, and you're going to feed them.




#3: Operation!


I have to admit, I never ended up owning this game as a kid, but only because my neighbor already had that shit. To the point, though; this commercial is insane. Yeah, four kids got this deformed clown(who looks like he's probably a coke fiend, for the record) tied down to a table, and yeah, they're playing doctor. Yeah, they DID just pull that adults ribs out while laughing and singing about it. And you wonder why I love these old things?




#2: Tyco RICOCHET


All the TycoRC commercials were this badass. Aside from feeling like I'm in the club with that badass background music, this commercial basically spits it right in your face; buy one of these amazing ass remote controlled cars then race your friends and crash into each other and shit. It always blew my mind how in the commercials they got the cars to work in outside terrain because anytime I tried, it failed terribly. DRIVE IT LIKE YA HATE IT!




#1: CROSSFIRE!


THIS is the absolute epitome of oldschool epic advertising. After watching this shit, EVERY kid wanted to be a leather-jacket-sporting badass in a dystopian future where the skies are always covered in lightning, and all the conflicts are settled in a flaming CROSSFIRE arena. And that song is pure awesome concentrate mixed with win. "You'll get caught up in the, CROSSFIYAAAAAAAAAH"! It's easy to see why this one takes spot #1.


Anyway I hope you've all enjoyed this little rant, and if not, atleast you got to watch some good old toy commercials, right?!