Before we get to the commercials, a word on the matter.
We've all seen the decline of commercials since the 90s, but how many of us truly consciously recognize it? Sure, a lot of newer commercials are pretty interesting, with our highly advanced manipulation of imagery and video these days; One recent commercial from Gatorade includes a famous basketball player walking down the street, and the street "flips over" and turns into a basketball court as he does so. The point I'm trying to make is that while a lot of commercials haven't necessarily declined in base quality, they've definitely changed and not really for the better(Head-on! Apply bullet directly to your forehead) . I haven't seen a new children's toy commercial in a while for obvious reasons, but for the purpose of this article let's just take a glance at those, as most of the time the older ones tend to be quite awesome, and truly got you pumped when they came on TV, instead of becoming annoying segments in-between your favorite shows.
#5: Perfection! (POP!)
You know it like I know it; when this mother-effer came on TV, you didn't care WHAT the freakin' game was about. You wanted to see this guy's chest bursting with large plastic pieces, and by god, that's what they gave you. It has all the vital elements of an oldschool toy commercial which made it a perfect candidate for number 5. Excited children, a catchy little jingle, over-the-top action shit that makes you want the toy no matter WHAT it does, and two normal lookin kids having a ball with it...sheesh, man, they really knew how to sell a product back then.
#4: Hungry Hungry Hippos
Once again, this thing has all the basic attributes of an awesome old commercial. Kids enjoying that shit like hell, a cool jingle, and best of all, some colorful hippos that don't give a SHIT if you just paid 5k to put that fence back up; these bastards are hungry, and you're going to feed them.
#3: Operation!
I have to admit, I never ended up owning this game as a kid, but only because my neighbor already had that shit. To the point, though; this commercial is insane. Yeah, four kids got this deformed clown(who looks like he's probably a coke fiend, for the record) tied down to a table, and yeah, they're playing doctor. Yeah, they DID just pull that adults ribs out while laughing and singing about it. And you wonder why I love these old things?
#2: Tyco RICOCHET
All the TycoRC commercials were this badass. Aside from feeling like I'm in the club with that badass background music, this commercial basically spits it right in your face; buy one of these amazing ass remote controlled cars then race your friends and crash into each other and shit. It always blew my mind how in the commercials they got the cars to work in outside terrain because anytime I tried, it failed terribly. DRIVE IT LIKE YA HATE IT!
#1: CROSSFIRE!
THIS is the absolute epitome of oldschool epic advertising. After watching this shit, EVERY kid wanted to be a leather-jacket-sporting badass in a dystopian future where the skies are always covered in lightning, and all the conflicts are settled in a flaming CROSSFIRE arena. And that song is pure awesome concentrate mixed with win. "You'll get caught up in the, CROSSFIYAAAAAAAAAH"! It's easy to see why this one takes spot #1.
Anyway I hope you've all enjoyed this little rant, and if not, atleast you got to watch some good old toy commercials, right?!
We've all seen the decline of commercials since the 90s, but how many of us truly consciously recognize it? Sure, a lot of newer commercials are pretty interesting, with our highly advanced manipulation of imagery and video these days; One recent commercial from Gatorade includes a famous basketball player walking down the street, and the street "flips over" and turns into a basketball court as he does so. The point I'm trying to make is that while a lot of commercials haven't necessarily declined in base quality, they've definitely changed and not really for the better(Head-on! Apply bullet directly to your forehead) . I haven't seen a new children's toy commercial in a while for obvious reasons, but for the purpose of this article let's just take a glance at those, as most of the time the older ones tend to be quite awesome, and truly got you pumped when they came on TV, instead of becoming annoying segments in-between your favorite shows.
#5: Perfection! (POP!)
You know it like I know it; when this mother-effer came on TV, you didn't care WHAT the freakin' game was about. You wanted to see this guy's chest bursting with large plastic pieces, and by god, that's what they gave you. It has all the vital elements of an oldschool toy commercial which made it a perfect candidate for number 5. Excited children, a catchy little jingle, over-the-top action shit that makes you want the toy no matter WHAT it does, and two normal lookin kids having a ball with it...sheesh, man, they really knew how to sell a product back then.
#4: Hungry Hungry Hippos
Once again, this thing has all the basic attributes of an awesome old commercial. Kids enjoying that shit like hell, a cool jingle, and best of all, some colorful hippos that don't give a SHIT if you just paid 5k to put that fence back up; these bastards are hungry, and you're going to feed them.
#3: Operation!
I have to admit, I never ended up owning this game as a kid, but only because my neighbor already had that shit. To the point, though; this commercial is insane. Yeah, four kids got this deformed clown(who looks like he's probably a coke fiend, for the record) tied down to a table, and yeah, they're playing doctor. Yeah, they DID just pull that adults ribs out while laughing and singing about it. And you wonder why I love these old things?
#2: Tyco RICOCHET
All the TycoRC commercials were this badass. Aside from feeling like I'm in the club with that badass background music, this commercial basically spits it right in your face; buy one of these amazing ass remote controlled cars then race your friends and crash into each other and shit. It always blew my mind how in the commercials they got the cars to work in outside terrain because anytime I tried, it failed terribly. DRIVE IT LIKE YA HATE IT!
#1: CROSSFIRE!
THIS is the absolute epitome of oldschool epic advertising. After watching this shit, EVERY kid wanted to be a leather-jacket-sporting badass in a dystopian future where the skies are always covered in lightning, and all the conflicts are settled in a flaming CROSSFIRE arena. And that song is pure awesome concentrate mixed with win. "You'll get caught up in the, CROSSFIYAAAAAAAAAH"! It's easy to see why this one takes spot #1.
Anyway I hope you've all enjoyed this little rant, and if not, atleast you got to watch some good old toy commercials, right?!
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